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November 19, 2008 |
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01. Fuel For The Fire
02. Keep It Up
03. Song Of Pain
04. You Get What You Pay For
05. The Chainsaw
06. Can't Catch Me
07. Go Away
08. Bottom Feeder
09. Cruel World
10. Fast Driver
Bonus DVD - Live Wacken 1998
01. Five Knuckle Shuffle
02. Smoking Green
03. Old School
04. Winged Assassins
05. Forged In Fire
06. March Of The Crabs
07. Metal On Metal
08. 666
09. Mothra
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Okay gang, this review is going to be a little different due to the fact that it's a two-parter; part one being a review of the latest ANVIL (Lips/vox, guitars, Robb Reiner/drums, Ivan Hurd/guitars, and Glenn Five/bass) release 'Back To Basics', the second being a review of the bonus DVD 'Live Wacken 1998'. I'm not going to beat around the bush either; in my humble opinion this CD/DVD package just doesn't cut it. Not even close. But first, 'the album'. ANVIL's 'Back To Basics' is easily the most embarrassingly SPINAL TAPish, wanna-be-MANOWAR-so-bad-it-hurts slab o' old-school Metal I've had the misfortune to waste a better part of an hour of my valuable time listening to. On a positive note, the cover art is some of the classiest I've seen of late. What a waste. That's where the positives end. I found this release to be amateurish, funny for all the wrong reasons, and frankly, far below the level of quality I would expect from a Galy release. Why? Read on, swordbrothers...read on!
The album begins with 'Fuel For The Fire' - Fuel for what fire!?! The flaming inferno of derision this coaster is sure to rain down upon the band!?! Sorry Lips and Co., but not only is this brand of derivative 80's 'Metal' badly dated...it's not even delivered convincingly enough or passionately enough to make me think YOU care anymore. I mean, this is borderline AOR fer Krissakes! These are all basically just carbon copy, played-a-million-times-before, second-rate-AC/DC riffs that one would expect from any unsigned bar band playing standard-fare, blue-collar, old-school Metal, though with nary an ounce of the conviction most unsigned, struggling acts possess. Oh, and the vocals are awful. Lips can't sing. Not a note. The guy sounds like he's struggling for breath as he wheezes his way through this like an old man who has just reached the top of a one-story flight of stairs. And it's like that from start to finish on this thing too. Absolutely nothing to sink one's teeth into here.
But the music and vocals aren't the real Achille's Heel of the matter. No, the real crux of the problem is in the writing...man, I don't even know where to begin on this one. Here's a sample from 'Can't Catch Me', to quote: 'Can't catch me when I'm foolin' around/Can't catch me when my pants are down.' And from ode-to-viagra 'Keep It Up': 'Stand at attention be a masculine man/Keep on going for as long as you can/All it takes is one little pill/Last all night and get your fill'. Uhhh...who writes these 'leer-uckz' anyways? Oh I forgot...Lips. Juvenile elementary-school-humour-level at best. I'm not impressed. I mean is this really the best these guys can come up with!?! They're all in their 40's for God's sakes! Message to ANVIL: You are NOT Canada's MANOWAR. Maybe once that potential existed...but no more. How did this band ever get picked up by a label like Galy whose roster is otherwise more than impressive to say the least???
Just track after subpar track keeps rolling on through; the lame 'Chainsaw'...the aptly-titled 'Song Of Pain' wherein Lips struggles with the 'Power Ballad' format to no avail...'Go Away' a lyrical jab at guys like me who dare to criticize artistic greats such as ANVIL...it just goes on, and on, and on.
This band used to possess a modicum of charm. They were once the 'Great White North's' own loveable, dunderheaded, head-bangin’ heroes. Hell, albums like 'Forged In Fire', and 'Metal On Metal' were even pretty decent, beer-guzzlin' MAN's Metal albums with some classic cuts sure to put an addled smile on many a mullethead's face...and that was cool. This album however betrays an act short on ideas and alienated from an audience who have since grown and matured whilst they (the band) appear to have remained in a stage of arrested development. ANVIL come across as a band who are - at best - repeating themselves, and at worse venturing into realms of ridiculousness that border on self-parody. I mean, writing this stuff must take like, an evening...maximum. It's a joke. Problem is, unlike say a MANOWAR - who I would venture are at least 'in' on their particular strain of self-parody - ANVIL seem to take themselves with a certain degree of seriousness that makes me shake my head.
As albums go this is just clueless, pointless, useless, and lifeless. There is no reason for it to exist. Albums like this serve no purpose other than to perpetuate the view that all Metalheads are neanderthalic, Fubaresque simpletons obsessed with explosions, poontang, and 'just givin' er'. The genre has moved on to brighter prospects. Perhaps ANVIL should as well. If YOU get a kick out of these guys...hey...to each their own. By all means add 'Back To Basics' to your collection. This is definitely not my can of cheap domestic beer though.
Bonus DVD - Live Wacken 1998 (5/10)
'Hey,' said my girlfriend as she perused the CD booklet from 'Back To Basics'. 'This drummer is named Robb Reiner. That's the same name as the guy who directed SPINAL TAP!'
How appropo.
If ANVIL 2004 is a less than salubrious listening experience, then ANVIL the live DVD experience is a little better. Certainly a little...but not a lot. It helps that none of the material performed is from 'Back To Basics'.
Anyways...I won't belabour this. 'ANVIL: Live Wacken 1998' is just that, a simple, straight-to-the-point live performance captured on film from the Canucks' 1998 Wacken appearance. Overall I have to admit, I found this a lot more enjoyable than listening to 'Back To Basics'. Nevertheless, this is truly nothing to write home about. In a nutshell, the band simply rips through nine ANVIL 'classics', all to the apparent enjoyment of several hundred Eurofans who admittedly seemed to be getting into the old-schoolers in a major way. Oh well. Good for them. I always like to see people enjoying themselves at a Metal show.
Technically - while obviously a short, promotional bonus - this DVD is quite well put together, with clear picture resolution, great sound quality, and numerous camera angles to make the viewing experience as interesting as possible. I especially like the way they often turn the cameras to the crowds' reaction, involving the audience and translating quite well the brotherly vibe of the Metal festival setting. Furthermore, the performance itself is decent enough, the follicle-challenged band playing tightly, with energy (well...with the exception of the wheezing Lips that is), conviction, and with an obvious love of, and appreciation for, their audience.
THIS I applaud. I simply do not see what is appealing about their actual material, which even here descends right quick into the aforementioned gutter-level, adolescent-boy-B-movie-porn-level of entertainment (i.e. opening ode to masturbation 'Five Knuckle Shuffle', Lips playing the guitar with a vibrator...once again, message to ANVIL: YOU ARE IN YOUR 40'S!!! PUH-LEEZE!!!) Best two tracks/performances here are 'Winged Assassins', and 'Metal On Metal' which briefly grasp hold of a fist-pumping, be-denimed Metal spirit that is infectious and enjoyable to behold. Too bad they don't realize themselves that this is where their strength is - in connecting with the audience through classic, traditional Metal songs - as opposed to the 'stoopid', dumbed-down kiddy drivel that seems to form the core of their catalogue.
Ultimately, this brief glimmer of dignity proves sadly anticlimactic as, at the end of it all, the band - having overstayed their welcome it would appear - are given the hook as a stage-hand arrives mid-solo to inform them that it's all over. The lights go up, the crowd cheers, and that's that.
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