For better or for worse, there is a slew of Metal labels re-releasing a lot of Metal lately that was either missed or forgotten when it was first released. Certainly, getting some of that old FLOTSAM AND JETSAM stuff as well as the sole FLOODGATE release was a very nice surprise to find in the mailbox. While I think it's cool that a lot of this old music is finding new life (or at least a new way to be out there), there have been a few releases along the way that didn't gain exposure for a reason. DIAMOND REXX's "Land Of The Damned" is one such release. This is not a forgotten classic. It was forgotten because it's terrible.

I'm sure you've all heard the saying, "even with a spit shine, a turd is still a turd." Well, if you washed it, waxed it and plated it with gold, "Land Of The Damned" would still be a steaming pile of crap. Just listening to songs like "Wish I Was Rich" give you douche chills. Literally, I felt embarrassed for the guys in the band that performed this and the engineer that had to look them in the face and go, "Good take, guys! You really nailed it". DIAMOND REXX was the brainchild of vocalist Nasti Habits. Simply put, this guy wasn't much of a singer. His voice is a somewhat poor version of Alice Cooper, and it does little to lead you into the music. His poorly drawn out vocal lines on songs like "Don't Start Without Me" sound closer to that of a bad karaoke singer than they do to a professional musician.

Even though the vocals are pretty wretched here, it's not really the main problem with "Land Of The Damned". Ultimately, the music and the songwriting on this album are so infantile and stupid that you can't help but realize just why this dopey band never had any real success. Songs like "B.A.T.S." and the tremendously stupid "Rock Gun" just have you laughing at the ridiculous lyrical content of each and every song. "Lazy Days / Lazy Nights / Space Aged Weapon / Shoot Everything In Site" - uh...yeah. Riiiiiiiiiiiight!

There's really not much good to write about DIAMOND REXX. The songs stink, the vocal performances are grating, and the recording production (didn't get into it here, but trust me on this) is pretty sub-standard. On the band's website, they do like all 80s Metal bands do and blame grunge for their lack of success. No, not in this case. This band failed because they were awful; a bad PRETTY BOY FLOYD, which all by itself was a bad POISON...which all by itself was just plain bad. [sarcasm on] Better buy this one fast, people! It's a limited edition release run of only 2000 copies! [sarcasm off] Devastatingly bad music here!