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September 3, 2010 |
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JOE STUMP - Speed Metal Messiah
Lion Music (2004) |
2/10 |
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01. Prelude
02. Speed Metal Messiah
03. The Red Priest
04. Eastern Beast
05. Weapon Of Choice
06. Reflection
07. The Killer Instinct
08. Dragon's Den
09. Unleashing The Fury
10. Retroactivity
11. Psycho Shred Suite 1st Movement
12. Cadenza Diablo
13. Psycho 2nd Movement (Presto)
14. Chamber Maid
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I'll give Joe Stump credit: the man has some funny album titles: "Night Of The Living Shred", "2001: A Shred Odyssey", and his latest, "Speed Metal Messiah". Unfortunately, the Praise Train stops here. Joe Stump caters to a certain demographic: the easily amused, a category that I'm not a part of. I own no shred albums, and I can't impress my friends with technical terms like arpeggio, tremolo and pistachio. However, I do know what makes good songwriting. Good songwriting, like a good piece of gum, has lasting flavor. Good songwriting is NOT a 70-minute guitar solo.
I was initially impressed with "Speed Metal Messiah", but this reaction eroded with each track. My listening experience can be broken down as follows:
Track 1: Awesome!!!! Joe Stump is a guitar wizard, a better shredder than Oroku Saki.
Track 2: This guitar playing is not of this world. It's almost as if Joe was bitten by a radio active guitar, giving him superpowers.
Track 3: Sounds a lot like the last track, but still pretty cool ... certainly better than I can play. It would be interesting to see if he could pull off this five minute solo live.
Track 4: Okay, perhaps this 8 minute wankfest is a little over the top. Why doesn't Stump put some decent melodies or vocals over this?
Track 5: I can't keep my eyelids open...
Track 6: ... if I had earlids, I would close them as well.
Track 7: zzzzzZzzzz
Track 8: zzzzzZZZZZZZZZZzz
Track 9: I must have dozed off for a minute. It doesn't sound as though I missed very much.
Track 10: Well, this is a rocking change of pace. Good? Not quite, but a least it's a step forward.
Track 11: This track is more forgettable than... I forgot the other part of this analogy.
Tracks 12-14: Are these the same song? Why do these tracks have names? They tell no story, convey no emotion... just like the rest of the album. If Joe wanted to name his "songs", he should have used titles like "Look at me!", "I'm a show-off", and "Wanky Doodle Went to Town".
If Joe Stump was a half-decent songwriter, his power metal project, THE REIGN OF TERROR, would have a greater following. How can anyone find Joe Stump's self-indulgence interesting? I don't know. In fact, I'm Stumped.
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